Sta.sh
What's two things Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton don't have that we people have?
Underpants and brains!
You can't fix stupid, but you can fix your face, but Michael Jackson can't fix his.
Say this three times fast:
How many sheets can this sheet slitter slit?
Say this five times fast:
Toyboat
Say this three times fast:
I am sofa king we todd ed!
Bill Nye the science guy is not Davey Jones in pirates of the carribean people its Bill Nighe from Underworld as Victor you stupid idiots geesh!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So that way he can prove to the possum he could do it.
Adam Sandler in 50 first dates
Drew Barrymore as Lucy: How's the cow?
Adam Sandlar: Same as you everyday but we still have to convince her she is a cow.
Ula's kid: Daddy whats a nimpho?
Ula: oh uh the nimpho is the state bird of Ohio
kids: Oh
Adam Sandler: Ya and you're the state idiot of Hawaii
Ula: one day u just go for it and the next thing you know poof you're gone
Adam Sandler: See I'm not so sure about that poofing part because I'm not a very good poofer could you demonstrate a good poof for me
Ula: quit busting my coconuts for five seconds!
Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
| Deviant Login | Shop | Join deviantART for FREE  |
Take the Tour  |
is
not
a
joke!
carry
on
reading!
or
you
will
die,
even
if
you
only
looked
at
the
word
warning!
ONCE
THERE
WAS
A
LITTLE
GIRL
CALLED
CLARISSA,
SHE
WAS
10
YEARS
OLD
AND
SHE
LIVED
IN
A
MENTAL
HOSPITAL,
BEACUSE
SHE
KILLED
HER
MUM
AND
DAD.
SHE
GOT
SO
BAD
SHE
STARTED
TO
KILL
ALL
THE
STAFF
IN
THE
HOSPITAL
SO
THE
GOVERMENT
DECIDED
THAT
THE
BEST
IDEA
WAS
TO
GET
RID
OF
HER
SO
THEY
SET
UP
A
SPECIAL
ROOM
TO
KILL
HER,
AS
HUMANE
AS
POSSIBLE
BUT
IT
WENT
RONG
THE
MACHINE
THEY
WERE
USEING
WENT
WRONG.
AND
SHE
WAS
SAT
THERE
IN
AGONY
FOR
HOURS
UNTILL
SHE
FINALLY
DIED.
NOW
EVERY
WEEK
ON
THE
DAY
OF
HER
DEATH
SHE
RETURNS
TO THE
PERSON
THAT
READS
THIS
LETTER,
ON
A
MONDAY
NIGHT
AT
12:00
SHE
KREEPS
INTO
YOUR
ROOM
AND
KILLS
YOU,
BUT
SLOWLY
AND
PAINFULLY
SLOWLY
CUTTING
DIFFRENT
PARTS
OF
UR
BODY
THEN
WATCHES
YOU
BLEED
TO
DEATH
IF
YOU
DONT
SEND
THIS
TO
20
PEOPLE
BY
MIDNIGHT
SHELL
BE
COMEING
TO KILL
YOU!
SEND
IT
SO
SHE
HAS
ANOTHER
LOAD
OF
PEOPLE
TO
GET
AND
FORGETS
ABOUT
YOU
DONT
BELVE ME
HEY?
EXAMPLE
1:
JENNY
DIDNT BELIVE THIS AND DELETED IT WITHOUT EVEN READING THE WHOLE THING! A FEW DAYS LATER ON THE MONDAY NIGHT SHE WAS WOKEN UP BYE LOUDE FOOTSTEPS AND HEAVY BREETHING THERE WAS CLARISSA STANDING THERE WITH A HUGE KNIFE AND WELL JENNY IS HISTORY NOW.
EXAMPLE
2:
TOM
ONLY SENT IT TO 5 PEOPLE CUZ HE THOUGHT HED BE SAFE AND IT WAS PROBLY JUST A JOKE BUT OH HOW RONG WAS HE! HE DIED THE NEXT NIGHT ON MONDAY AND ILL TELL YA NOW IT WASNT PRETTY(JUST CUZ HE SENT FIVE HE DIDNT COMPLETE THE TASK)
EXAMPLE
3:
JOEANNA
SENT IT TO 19 PEOPLE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS CLOSE ENOUGH AND WOULD DO BUT SHE WAS WRONG SHE DIED THAT NIGHT ON A MONDAY AND ONCE AGAIN IT WASNT
is
not
a
joke!
carry
on
reading!
or
you
will
die,
even
if
you
only
looked
at
the
word
warning!
ONCE
THERE
WAS
A
LITTLE
GIRL
CALLED
CLARISSA,
SHE
WAS
10
YEARS
OLD
AND
SHE
LIVED
IN
A
MENTAL
HOSPITAL,
BEACUSE
SHE
KILLED
HER
MUM
AND
DAD.
SHE
GOT
SO
BAD
SHE
STARTED
TO
KILL
ALL
THE
STAFF
IN
THE
HOSPITAL
SO
THE
GOVERMENT
DECIDED
THAT
THE
BEST
IDEA
WAS
TO
GET
RID
OF
HER
SO
THEY
SET
UP
A
SPECIAL
ROOM
TO
KILL
HER,
AS
HUMANE
AS
POSSIBLE
BUT
IT
WENT
RONG
THE
MACHINE
THEY
WERE
USEING
WENT
WRONG.
AND
SHE
WAS
SAT
THERE
IN
AGONY
FOR
HOURS
UNTILL
SHE
FINALLY
DIED.
NOW
EVERY
WEEK
ON
THE
DAY
OF
HER
DEATH
SHE
RETURNS
TO THE
PERSON
THAT
READS
THIS
LETTER,
ON
A
MONDAY
NIGHT
AT
12:00
SHE
KREEPS
INTO
YOUR
ROOM
AND
KILLS
YOU,
BUT
SLOWLY
AND
PAINFULLY
SLOWLY
CUTTING
DIFFRENT
PARTS
OF
UR
BODY
THEN
WATCHES
YOU
BLEED
TO
DEATH
IF
YOU
DONT
SEND
THIS
TO
20
PEOPLE
BY
MIDNIGHT
SHELL
BE
COMEING
TO KILL
YOU!
SEND
IT
SO
SHE
HAS
ANOTHER
LOAD
OF
PEOPLE
TO
GET
AND
FORGETS
ABOUT
YOU
DONT
BELVE ME
HEY?
EXAMPLE
1:
JENNY
DIDNT BELIVE THIS AND DELETED IT WITHOUT EVEN READING THE WHOLE THING! A FEW DAYS LATER ON THE MONDAY NIGHT SHE WAS WOKEN UP BYE LOUDE FOOTSTEPS AND HEAVY BREETHING THERE WAS CLARISSA STANDING THERE WITH A HUGE KNIFE AND WELL JENNY IS HISTORY NOW.
EXAMPLE
2:
TOM
ONLY SENT IT TO 5 PEOPLE CUZ HE THOUGHT HED BE SAFE AND IT WAS PROBLY JUST A JOKE BUT OH HOW RONG WAS HE! HE DIED THE NEXT NIGHT ON MONDAY AND ILL TELL YA NOW IT WASNT PRETTY(JUST CUZ HE SENT FIVE HE DIDNT COMPLETE THE TASK)
EXAMPLE
3:
JOEANNA
SENT IT TO 19 PEOPLE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS CLOSE ENOUGH AND WOULD DO BUT SHE WAS WRONG SHE DIED THAT NIGHT ON A MONDAY AND ONCE AGAIN IT WASNT